Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Weird coincidence???

It's nearly the end of March. I cannot believe it. I swear each year flies by faster than the last. The hospital continues to be at max capacity. I don't recall it ever being like this before & that is even with all the people complaining of chest pain via ambulance are diverted to the bigger cardiac type hospitals. I have heard a rumor though that our hospital is going to start focusing on increasing their cardiac procedures - as obviously the need for it is great. I wish we would open up a cardiac only floor. I would love to work in that specific area. Maybe my wish will come true one day.

Speaking of cardiology, I had a patient last week who had multiple things wrong with him - the main one being that his cancer had spread all throughout his body. His blood pressure sat in the 150-160 range systolically and the doctors seemed comfortable with those results. The last morning I had him, his blood pressure rose to the 180's systolically. It was nearly 4 am & I questioned whether this result could be delayed by say an hour - before calling the doctor. I mean it wasn't like his blood pressure was normally 110 or 120 & jumped up to 180. It was 160 to 180...not a huge increase. So as I sat there & debated with myself whether to call & wake up the cardiologist...the phone rang. I answered the phone & guess who....the cardiologist...calling me out of the blue...lol. He was asking me what the first name of this patient was - the same one that had the higher blood pressure. I laughed to myself & thought "how weird is this right now???" I gave him the answer & said "By the way - while I have you on the phone, his blood pressure is this..." He said that was fine, leave it alone. I hung up the phone wondering...seriously...what are the chances of this ever happening at 4 am?

This week was going well...I worked Sat & Sun nights. It was pretty uneventful. Well - until Monday morning. A co-worker & I were waiting to get our yearly PPD shots. The reason we were waiting was because a code blue had been called about 10 minutes earlier & whoever was doing the PPD shots - ran to the code. So we waited & eventually I could tell by the looks on other co-workers leaving the floor that the code was not a success. Another co-worker quickly updated us on who had coded & although she wasn't my patient at the time - I did have her as a patient back in December. I didn't write about it at the time as it was right before Christmas & very sad. She was in her early 30's who came to the hospital because she had trouble swallowing. They initially thought it was pneumonia...only to find out it was 3 or 4 large tumors on her esophagus. Basically she had stage 4 cancer...that is the worst stage there is. She was married and had 3 children at home. Her room was decorated with a Christmas tree & presents back then since she would be spending Christmas in the hospital.

Fast forward approx 3 months & she is the one that they called a code on. As I was processing all of this information, her sister was being led by the ICU nurse to the waiting room and I heard her crying on the cell phone to her mother while saying "She's gone, Mom, she's gone." I keep hearing those words over & over. I came home & couldn't stop replaying those words in my head. I felt miserable. I tried to sleep...took 1 Tylenol PM. I had a sore throat, headache, still not sleepy. So I took 1 Sominex and layed down again. I could not sleep. I ended up calling off from work - because I can't go in with no sleep in over 24 hours & then work another 12 hours. I was tired, but couldn't sleep. Eventually I did fall asleep around 5 pm until 11 pm. I ate, watched tv & went back to sleep & woke up at 7 am.

I feel better today. I'm getting some things accomplished, but still think about that family who lost someone at such a young age. I don't know why it's affecting me - I usually am so good at keeping everything at work. Maybe I'm just more sensitive at the moment. I don't know.

It's just a major reminder that life isn't fair and you have to make the best of it while you still can.

On a good note - I have tickets to see Tim McGraw on May 11th. I cannot wait! I'm also seeing Lifehouse on April 16th. Soooo looking forward to getting out & hearing some good music.

I hope everyone is having a good week!


tendernoggle said...

Love Tim McGraw!!! Lucky you!!!

Do you think you may have associated the 30 year old patient with yourself and your family?

Either way..I have always known that you have a warm heart and are a great nurse because of that fact.
God bless,
love ya,

am4039 said...

how very sad about that young woman passing on at such a young age. I could never do what you do, I would go home and cry all the time. I love nurses you people are the best. That is weird that the doctor called at 4 am. but happy that he did. Hope you have a great day.

hadonfield78 said...

That is very sad....
My heart goes out to you and that family....
And my hat goes off to you....
You have picked a noble profession.