Thank You!

Just wanted to thank my fellow blogger nurses for your kind words & understanding. While I'm glad to see that my emotions/reactions are appropriate, it also saddens me that others are in the same frustrated positions. I wish the public could understand all the pressures a nurse is under instead of assuming we hardly do anything but talk & play on the computer. Your support helps me tremendously!

I got a call from my old hospital yesterday....yessssss! Although I'm not convinced that this is going to be an amazing transition, any change right now would be helpful. One of my friends from nursing school is ready to quit the old hospital cause she's sick of management. She won't give me specifics though. I would just be grateful to have some help from patient care techs. I have to call the recruiter back this morning & hopefully set up an interview for next week.

I just realized that I self-scheduled myself to work the next 5 out of 7 days...ugh. Oh well...I have a day off inbetween on Sunday & Tuesday. I'll get thru it. I'm in a better state of mind...after having the last 9 days off. :)

I turned 43 yesterday. It was an easy, relaxing day......dinner at Red Lobster. Time with my family. Much better than last year when I was worried about my niece being around her mother's loser bf.

So once again....thank you....you know who you are. :)

A little better

I'm still recovering from the emotions of last week. I've also been rereading my blog...the past year & seeing how I've tried my best to make this work, but seems things are getting worse instead of better. That reinforces my decision that it is probably best to change things up. Changing my attitude simply isn't enough in this situation. Hard to believe that my "hope" is that my old hospital will take me back. I still remember the frustration I had there. I also remember shortstaffing wasn't one of the reasons. So my priorities have shifted, but my focus has not. All I want is to go to work, do my job & come home. I don't care about the corporate ladder or becoming a charge nurse. I want to clock in for 12 hours, clock out & live my life. No drama, no b.s., no administration type stuff.

I applied online at the old hospital. Got my fingers crossed they give me a call or an email or however it is done these days. The ad had just been posted on Feb. 28, so I figure they should at least give me a shot, right? I'll keep you informed.

I had my 15 yr old niece over for the weekend. She is good at distracting me from the realities of life. Our main focus was food & what to watch on tv or at the movies. Well, we had planned to get some sun as Saturday was beautiful.......instead we got our haircut & watched Lifetime. It's the simple things in life, isn't it? I also changed the cabin on our cruise in August. Got one a little bigger. What the heck? Why not? August 4th can't get here soon enough. Luckily, my 3 night cruise is less than 3 weeks away. Yessssssss! March 22......getting away with my bff's for a girl's weekend. Definitely what I'm needing/focusing on right now.

I'm off until Friday. My 43rd b-day is on Wednesday. Nothing too special planned. Lunch or dinner with the family. I'm not one for making a big deal out of b-days. I'm actually looking forward to a day or two of time to myself. I do need to get a massage...only because I was given a gift card on my last birthday for it.................it's not that I don't like massages, I just am not crazy about them. I guess now is when I really could use one though. So Monday or Tuesday I will get it done. Hoping to get a little bit of sun too...need a pre-tan before the cruise. The weather is supposed to be really nice the next few days. See....I'm simple. And I know I'll get through this. Just a bump in the road. :)

Have a good week everyone!

Lost It. Sigh.

I officially lost it....at work that is. Last night was a combination of pms + disrespect + work overload + whiny drug addicted patients = me crying at work. :( It is pretty safe to say that I am approaching that dreaded nursing burnout phase. Sigh.

I can't change pms.....it seems as I get older, the symptoms get worse...especially the crying & hot flashes & sweating. Ugh. It isn't pretty & the 40's definitely are NOT better. Sigh.

Disrespect....that came from an idiot cardiologist. We are required to report all critical lab values....doesn't matter what time it is. Well, last night I had a critical Troponin to report. The patient is renal & I have learned at this hospital that if a patient has renal issues....the doctors really disregard the Troponin results. Leaves me to wonder why they even order it then, but anyways.........our normal value is below 0.03, my patient's result was 0.5. It wasn't extremely high, but nonetheless...it comes up as a critical value. So I call it to the cardiologist who immediately gives me attitude. "Why are you waking me up for this?" Because the hospital requires me to report all critical lab values. "This is ridiculous. You call & wake me up to report something you already know will be elevated?????????" Yes, the hospital requires me to do so. "This is INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" At this point, I wanted to hang up...but I didn't. Next time I think I will. I'm the messenger, dude. I didn't create the problem, I am just doing what I am required to do. This isn't anything new. The doctors know this & they know not to be rude to us. While I may agree with him & I really didn't want to call him...it had to be done. A simple "thank you" & hang up would have sufficed. Sigh.

I had two new admissions who were begging for pain medication. By begging, I mean screaming as loud as they could & continuously begging/whining. One I was able to meet his needs. His blood pressure was good, I managed to talk the physician assistant on call to give me some options to work with because I was not going to let my patient scream out in pain all night. It was my third shift in a row & I'm pms'ing = no tolerance. Gave him 1 mg of Morphine & everything was good for about 6 hours with him. Thank goodness. Sigh.

My other patient....not the same story. She is a frequent flyer & while she does have back issues that no doubt cause her pain, I prefer her to be alive with pain than to be dead with no pain. 10 days ago at one of our other hospitals her heart stopped because they gave her too much pain medication. Somehow they managed to save her (she coded 3 times) & she had zero brain damage in the process. I'll never understand that. Anyways, the good ol' ER nurse promised her that I would give her whatever pain medication she needed when she got to the floor. Not a good sign. Her blood pressure when she got to my floor was in the 70's as was her 02 sat as she didn't feel like wearing oxygen anymore & they said ok. Sigh. All she's doing is begging for Morphine. I explain to her that until she's stable, NO PAIN MEDICATION. After about an hour, her blood pressure was back up to about 116/70 and her 02 sat on 3L was 95%. Ok, here you go....1 mg of IV Morphine. Not super strong, but like I said earlier - I prefer my patients to stay alive. Amazingly the doctor came by around midnight & was able to order me the things I needed.....nebulizer treatments, Tylenol (for fever), pt's home meds. She asks him to increase her Morphine dose...which he does to 2 mg. She's happy, until I recheck her BP & now she's in the low 90's. Sorry, honey....no more pain medication for you. She's crying that she wants to go home if this is how I'm going to treat her. Sigh. It's so great to be a nurse!

Every half hour she's asking me to recheck her blood pressure, which never makes it above 99 systolic. She finally stops asking when it reaches 89/44. Well, she stops asking me to check her blood pressure, but it doesn't stop her screaming out for pain medication & how awful I'm treating her. So much for patient satisfaction. I guarantee our scores next month will be awful with patients like these. I go in at 6:45 am to empty her foley cath & draw blood out of her central line. She asks again about checking her blood pressure & I tell her we are just about to go into shift change & her next nurse will have to assess her first. Now if this were a normal patient with a normal blood pressure.......I would have given her pain medication. But knowing 10 days ago she coded from pain medication....I wasn't about to medicate her & then go into shift change for 20-30 min with no one checking on her. That's why I deferred it to the day nurse. My patient again started demanding to go home.......saying what is the purpose of being here. I don't think this lady could stand on her own two feet at this point, so I don't know how she was planning to get up & leave. Didn't matter, by this point...I was mentally checked out. Sigh.

I broke down around 12:30 am. I literally had not sat down since 7 pm except to chart my patient's vital signs. Nothing else was done. None of the admission stuff, none of the assessments, none of the plan of cares...nothing. I pictured I would be there till 10 am doing all this stuff & after being yelled at by the cardiologist.....I went into the bathroom & just started crying. :( I couldn't help. Jeez. I could cry right now...which makes me even more aware that it is pms & stress & not directly related to any one incident. Luckily, my good friend was the charge nurse last night & helped me quite a bit as far as she got my patient's vital signs at midnight and another nurse checked a blood sugar for me so I could just sit & catch up on charting. She also gave me a hug, which made me cry more. She gets it though. She & I were the ones that left our old hospital first because we were fed up with the stress & just recently she has been wanting me to get on board with going back to the old hospital together. I was hesitant, but after last night & the last month/year........I am just about to re-apply to the old hospital. Cause even though administration sucked over there, the patient load was not this bad. Sigh.

I am soooooooooo sick of primary nursing. We, nurses, need help. I shouldn't be doing respiratory treatments or emptying trash or cleaning up the patient's rooms or reminding doctor's to do their part or making sure lab is on time or putting in orders. Just because "I can" doesn't mean "I should be required to do everyone else's job." I am all for taking care of my patients, but it has to be balanced with all the charting we have to do. And lately with all the emphasis on patient satisfaction, it is taking away from our ability to be nurses & to use our critical thinking skills. Even last night as my patient is begging to be overdosed on pain meds, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "our hcahps scores are gonna suck next month"........I shouldn't have to think about that crap. I have been so forgetful lately that I thought it was all just a part of aging or I'm beginning early Alzheimer's..........but I totally think I am just overwhelmed at work. And all we hear back is that we aren't doing enough....the patients must be "ALWAYS" satisfied. That is impossible. Who is ALWAYS satisfied with everything...especially in a hospital? Correction...a purposely understaffed hospital? We floated our nurses to another floor because they were short.......which left our floor short. Is that fair?????????? Sigh.

And one more thing to vent.........we have no patient care techs. So our patient ratio is supposed to be 3 patients to 1 nurse. Mind you, these are usually total care type patients with multiple issues....so don't think having only 3 patients is a breeze. It's doable, but it isn't easy without any help. They told us "occasionally" you might have to take a 4th patient. By "occasionally" they mean just about every shift you work as well as every other nurse on the floor will have to do that too. So now we have 4 total care patients & no help. It's too much. And then they tell us we still have to do more to make the patient's and their families happy because 60% of our patient satisfaction surveys are filled out by a family member. WTF? How can they judge patient satisfaction if they aren't the patient? That should not be allowed!!!!!!! Sigh.

I don't know that going back to the old hospital is the best option, but it is pretty much my only option - if they'll even have me back. All I know is that they do have patient care techs and the nurses are not doing the respiratory techs jobs either. I'm also wondering if nursing is something I'll be able to do the rest of my working life. Not if this is what it's going to be like. I don't thrive off stress. My mind is worn out & my body physically aches. I'm moody, I complain. This is not me. I'm usually the easiest going person in the world & full of smiles. Now I absolutely dread going to work & count the hours until I can go home. I love my co-workers, but it isn't enough to survive. Wish I could work from home. Sigh.

Another First

Ever taken care of a doctor before? I hadn't, but I have now. While she was as pleasant as one could be in her condition, it is not something I want to do again anytime soon. I didn't treat her any different than any other patient, but there is just a weirdness taking care of someone you sort of work with. I don't really like it.

All the nurses did our "rounding" checkoff. It is insane. My hospital is under the belief that if a patient ever uses the call light...the nurse must not be rounding properly. I am not kidding you that I am considered in the "warning" area because since the beginning of the year, I get an average of 5 call lights a WEEK. Not a shift...but in a week. That is less than 2 call lights in 12 hours of working. You would think that would be pretty damn good, but nope. They want a max of 1-2 a week, but preferably 0. Let me remind you, the nurse call button is right next to all the tv controls. Sigh. We used to be able to give the patients our phone number so they could call & ask for whatever they needed, but now administration has taken that away from us also. I wish these so called administrators would spend a week in the real nursing world so they could see that these idiotic ideas they come up with are ridiculous.

So with all this work frustration, I came home & did the only thing I thought to do. Start cruise shopping. Yep, time for me to plan a cruise vacation so I have something to look forward to & something to inspire me to get through each shift. As it turns out, I now have 2 cruises to look forward to. A short 3 night cruise at the end of March and a 7 night cruise in August. I cannot wait!

First Time

The other night was the first time I actually felt something emotionally for a patient. That might sound weird....so let me tell you more. 99.999999% of the time I can do my job without forming any emotional attachment whatsoever. Within a week, I have usually forgotten who I've even taken care of. That's not to say I don't connect with my patients. I do....I am very easy to talk to & get along with & I know my patients appreciate that. The blonde hair & blue eyes doesn't hurt either. I don't think I've ever had a patient ever complain about me to anyone. If they have, I never heard about it. Maybe it's because I know customer service & that is exactly what healthcare is turning into. We may not be able to save your life, but as long as the patient feels like we kissed their ass....that seems to be all that matters. Don't even get me started on patient satisfaction.

I got this patient as a new admission....new onset of 2nd degree heart block type 1....wenckebach. I don't see it very often, so I was somewhat worried & wondering how long before she slipped into 3rd degree heart block. She was an older lady, in her late 80's...lived at home alone. A jokester...she was asking for rum & coke as soon as she got to the room. She had a line for everything & while at times that can be annoying, she was cute. Her blood pressure was stable, her heart rate was ranging from 48 to 58. So far she was non-symptomatic, although she did have some dizziness earlier. I spoke with the on call cardio nurse practitioner & faxed her the EKG. She called back & told me to keep a close eye on this patient. Uhhhh, ok. Quit scaring me.

Off to sleep she goes & it isn't long for her heart rate to drop into the 30's. Eeekkk....I don't like it. So I do what I normally wouldn't do...I woke her up. She talked & talked & talked. I listen & listened & listened. I felt for her. She belongs in an assisted living facility, but she owns a home that will not sell. Therefore, she can't afford an assisted living facility. She also has no family around. So she relies on taxies & acquaintances to help her get to the doctors appts, the grocery store, to clean her house. It broke my heart. It made me think about how many of our elderly population is in the same boat. How many are living alone......feeling lonely & having to trust that these mere acquaintances aren't taking advantage of them? How many are being taken advantage of & possibly abused alone with it. She went on to tell me she had 13 brothers & sisters & the celebrations they had when they were younger. Just sad that their final days are spent so alone. I don't know if she had children, she never spoke of them & I figured it wasn't my place to ask. If she does though...I have to wonder how they can just abandon their mother like that. I could never do that. I finally exhausted the poor lady from all her talking & told her to get some sleep. I walked over to the monitor to check her heart rate & rhythm....wouldn't you know it...she converted back to a normal sinus rhythm!!!!!! Heart rate was in the 70's. That doesn't mean she couldn't slip back into the heart block....but it did mean I could breathe a little easier the rest of the shift.

I had a patient two days earlier....nearly 100 yrs old. She was easy to care for. Her son, however, was not. When I say that I would have preferred to jump off a bridge as opposed to listen to him talk....I am not kidding. This guy talked & talked & talked & talked. I was ready to bang my head against the wall as he never shut up...ever. If he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to his mother or the secretary or the patient in the next room or anyone that walked by the room. He never shut up. And he was one of those that thought he knew it all too. Around 9:30 pm he finally said he was gonna go home & get some sleep. Great! Bye!!!!!!!!!! Two hours later he was back & fully recharged to talk more. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even as my shift was over & I was in the elevator to leave, he was holding open the elevator door to talk to me some more. I nicknamed him chatty Cathy. I also refused to take his mother back as a patient ever again. I just could not take anymore non-stop chatter.

On a bright note, I have stopped stressing about work. I figure all hospital administrations suck, so I may as well get used to it & make the best of it. I did a little research of my own on this HCAPHS/patient satisfaction stuff. And while my hospital tries to tell us they won't get any reimbursement from the govt if we aren't super high scoring on the surveys....it turns out we are talking 1%. They will take a 1% cut if they are a low scoring hospital. I'm sure that is millions, but it's not what I was picturing....that the hospital would be getting no compensation. I think their goals are too high....my hospital wants to score 85% or higher. Ummmm....who usually fills out surveys? Happy people? NO. Mad people? YES. Cause they want someone to know why they were unhappy. Drug addicts? YES. Because we will never be able to meet their pain requirements. Disgruntled family members? YES. Because they seem to think the hospital is a hotel & nothing we do is good enough. Oh well............I'm letting that stress go. Not gonna worry about it anymore.

Things with my guy......a mess. I think I've broken up with him like 5 times in the last 2 months. Funny thing is, he never believes me. He doesn't leave. He also doesn't get mad, which I guess is good for me. I, however, seem annoyed a lot. I'm not so sure it is all his fault. I am giving him credit for being patient & loving me even when it is the last thing I want or deserve.

And when I say I'm not so sure it is his fault...I am convinced I have started perimenopause. Yes, at 42.....I feel like I have hot flashes & moodiness. My period which use to last a max of 3 days is now dragged out over a week. I can cry for absolutely no reason. Like just last night I was watching something on tv & tears came to my eyes. It wasn't even anything sad or touching. In fact, I don't even remember what it was! And the cruel thing about all this......I know when it is happening. Like I know when I am acting irrational, that I truly am irrational. It isn't like I display this behavior & days later I realize I was wrong. I know in the moment that my behavior is not normal. I'm usually so calm & easy going....not much gets to me. The last few months....forget that! And no, it isn't mental illness either. I'm not doing anything inappropriate or detrimental. It's just the moodiness. And the hot flashes. Don't even get me started on the night sweats. I thought this stuff didn't start until at least 50. Sigh.

Ok, enough of this depressing stuff. This week I only work Sunday & Monday. On Wednesday I'm having lunch with my mom, aunt & sister-in-law. After that I'm planning to spend a few days in Orlando relaxing poolside. I hope the weather cooperates. I was going to bring my niece, but now I think I will just take a few days to myself...where I don't have to care for anyone but me. I hope that gets me out of this funk.

One thing that definitely lifted my mood was LUKE BRYAN. He was in concert this past Sunday with Jason Aldean. He is amazing! I felt so much better after the concert.

Have a good week!

A Little Moody

Feels like forever since I last posted. Sorry about that. Time continues to fly by. I mean Christmas Eve was nearly 2 weeks ago....and now we are ending our first week of January. Goes by way too quick.

Last weekend at work...ugh, it was not one of my better times. I felt overwhelmed. Not by nursing, but by all of the non-nursing things we are expected to handle. I had a Baker Act (someone on a 72 hour psych hold) that was to be transferred to a psych facility when medically stable. Well, the MD signed the discharge...even though she wasn't medically stable. So the psych facility refuses to take her but tells me "I" need to get the order to cancel the transfer. Why? Why do "I" need to get that order? I have 9023480932 other things to do. Seems like it should have been something case management could handle, but nope. Repeated phone calls to the nurse practitioner on call who refuses to give that order & insists the order is "psych facility refuses patient." Uhhh, that's not an order. After spending nearly an hour of my time getting this "order", I gave up & deferred it to my charge nurse who had to get the nursing supervisor involved. The order never was written either...sigh.

The next night I still had this Baker Act & then got another Baker Act...this one was a crackhead. I'm not exaggerating. He smokes crack, doesn't take his much needed medication, comes to the hospital complaining of chest pain, weakness & acid reflux. He does this about twice a week...for the last 3 years straight. I'm not kidding. At some point, a hospital should be able to say "sorry buddy, no more...you aren't allowed here for this same condition any more." Only I guess hospitals aren't allowed to do that. So I got the pleasure of dealing with this crackhead coming down off a high, his throat burning as though it were on fire & his attitude that I am there to SERVE him. Uhhhhhhh, check that attitude at the door. I have no sympathy for someone in his condition. He puts himself there. You don't want a bad case of acid reflux? Then don't smoke crack cause it breaks down the lining in your esophagus. And don't tell me you're nauseous as you finish off your 10th bowl of cereal in 4 hours, your four ice creams, your 15 fruit juices and ask me for a pepsi & chicken noodle soup inbetween complaining of nausea. I'm not buying it, nor do I feel bad for you. And I sympathize even less when you refuse to allow me or my staff to do anything...refused vital signs, refused heart monitor, refused lab draw. Time for you to go buddy. This is a hospital, not a hotel. Not to mention he got all up in my charge nurse's face for absolutely no reason. She was brave (maybe stupid), but I wasn't about to challenge someone coming down off a high with an unstable psych history who wasn't taking his meds. Nope, my life is too important to me.

And my third night....my youngest patient was 87. I felt like I was caring for triplets. As soon as I'd get one settled and quiet, the other two would act up. It just reminded me as to how much I miss having techs on the floor. Life would be a better place if we'd get techs back.

Which leads me to question if this is the place I want to stay. I feel like I'm getting burnt out. I'm getting frustrated. Not so much by all the intense hands on patient care (which is tiring & my back aches), but by how micromanaged our hospital now is by administration. We are having a mandatory seminar on how to round on a patient. And if that's not enough, we have to get checked off also. Soooooooooo stupidddddddddddd!!!!! And now they are criticizing us if our patients use the call light more than once a shift.....because that makes them think that we are ignoring our patients if they actually have to use the call light. Isn't the call light there so they can call us when they need us?

And I don't think it reflects badly if they use the call light. I had one patient that wasn't steady on his feet. So I asked that he call me before getting up to use the bathroom. And each time, he sure enough remembered to call me. That is the purpose of the call light. Not for me to pop in every 10 minutes & ask if he has to go to the bathroom (as if I even have the time to do that). Or watch him while he's sleeping...just in case he should wake & need to use the bathroom. It is ridiculous. And the scripting....I should be an actress. It is like they are trying to turn us into Stepford Nurses & make us all generic & interchangeable. Ummmm, we're human!

Sorry, I'm kinda moody today...in case you haven't noticed...lol. I do have some thoughts of going back to the last hospital I was at...but I have hesitation about that because I do remember it sucked there (but at least we had techs) & they are connected to the same hospital I'm currently at. So if things are changing, it will probably trickle down eventually to the small hospital I left. I don't really want to change to another hospital chain as I have 8 years invested where I am. Soooooooooooo....I'm just thinking for now. Maybe I just need a nice tropical vacation. :)

I have started doing the Jillian Michaels workout dvd's for exercise & to release some of this stress. I am sore everywhere. I'll keep going though...on Sunday. Gotta give my body a little time to rest.

Still seeing the guy, but due to my moodiness, I'm kinda irritated with him too. I love him though...so it shall pass.

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!

Not that great of a week

I worked three in a row this week & it wasn't too bad....except for early Monday morning. I had a pt in her early 90's with gallstones. Her daughter was staying in the room with her. Pesky daughter, but she meant well & I think she saw that her mother & I sorta bonded. Daughter comes out at 2:45 am to say she is leaving & her brother will be here soon for the rest of the shift. Says her mother sounds like she has some liquid in her throat, but otherwise no changes. Around 3 am, I decide to take vital signs. I like to get vital signs out of the way as soon as possible...I am so NOT a procrastinator at work (unlike the rest of my life).

I start with her first. I put the blood pressure cuff on & start it. Then I put the 02 sat on. I see her heart rate is 91. Pretty normal. The blood pressure comes back at 75/35. I think "uhhhh, that can't be right." The 02 sat reads 80%. Hmmm, no, that can't be right either. Heart rate is still saying 90. So I retake the blood pressure & attempt to wake this little lady up. I get nothing. By now I realize this isn't going to have a happy ending. I call my charge...she's on break. So I drag two other nurses in to confirm what I'm witnessing. They agree...she's actively dying. I call the daughter to tell her to turn around. That her mother isn't responding to me. I call the monitor tech to let him know to watch. As I'm on the phone with him....in less than 10 seconds her heart rate went from 90 to 44 to asystole. She was a DNR...thankfully. I would not want to have cracked her ribs trying to save her. The three of us (nurses) are at the end of the bed just watching her. I started the vitals at 3 am. Time of death is 3:06 am.

Just as I turn to walk out of the room, the son walks up. Ugh, this is the part I hate. Breaking devastating news to family members. He's all smiles as he hasn't realized what just happened. I tell him she just passed away. Ugh, heartbreak. He, of course, is in shock. This is the part of nursing that I hate. Well, that & trachs. The daughter arrived...shocked, but at the same time it makes me wonder as the patient was in hospice care before coming to the hospital for a check on the abdominal pain. So it shouldn't have been totally unexpected....still though, losing a parent...no matter what age is devastating I'm sure. They didn't stay long.

I go on to take my other patients vital signs because this is nursing & you don't get breaks....even when your patient dies. You are expected to just keep going. Not more than 10 minutes later do I have the charge handing me a paper on a new admission. Seriously??? She replies "you're down to 2 patients." Now this I totally disagree on. It isn't like my 3rd patient just disappears because she died. I still have to do charting on her. I still have to get her ready for the morgue. Can I at least get this stuff done before you bring me someone new? So annoying sometimes. Luckily, my new admission was a wonderful woman who was not in any distress & just wanted to go to sleep.

My other patients this week were pretty good. One had this forceful cough that scared the heck out of me. I thought he'd be the one coding as he looked like he was about to die every time he had a coughing fit. I got some cough medicine ordered & gave it to him. It was no help. Did I mention he was on a 50% venti mask at the time & he would rip it off every time he started to cough. And his 02 sat would drop to 75%. Ugh. I called the doctor after a few hours of this coughing cycle & she tells me "there is no miracle cure for coughs." Really????? There is nothing out there that can help someone stop coughing? Fine, whatever. I bring respiratory in on this & we decide that since he rips the venti mask off anyways, let's switch him to a high flow nasal canula at 10 liters. Wouldn't you know it...that solved the coughing problem. It isn't to say he stopped coughing completely, but I can definitely say it was the venti mask irritating his throat into these coughing spells. I'd never seen that happen before.

I'm off until Tuesday now & it has been a rough week outside of work. The "guy".....well, it's not going so well. Not going to go into details, but I don't see it lasting. I'm beginning to think there is no Mr. Right out there for me. Oh well. Things could be worse.

And I learned this week that someone I went to high school with was strangled to death in her home. She is a recently divorced mother of 5. They have yet to name the ex-husband a suspect....but I would bet everything I have that he did it. It's not cause she had a restraining order on him that makes me think that. Or the fact that she had a security camera installed in her house because she felt he was coming in when she wasn't there. It's not the fact that in October, she got a judgment against him....he owes something like $65,000 to her. It's not the fact that he has been telling the police she has been using online dating web sites to meet men & how "dangerous" it is to meet online people. You know what seals it for me...the ex states he got a text message from her on the day she was killed asking him to pick up the kids from school. The police state they aren't sure if she texted that or the killer did. Now come on!!! What random person who is in the midst of killing someone is going to stop, text the ex to get the kids & continue to kill? Or why would she text that? She wasn't even in communication with him. I have no doubt he is the one that killed her & texted that after the fact as he picked up all 5 kids and kept them at his house while her body lay in her house for over 48 hours before being found. Disgusting. I can only hope they have enough evidence to prosecute him.

I am trying so hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Seems like December is flying by. Oh well, I am ready for a new year. Hoping 2012 isn't as crazy as 2011 has been.