Wow, feels like ages

Wow, feels like ages since I posted, but it's only been what...3 or 4 days? There isn't much to post regarding work....except for the fact that I hate those surveys the government requires when someone goes home. Because our administration gets the results & then tries to make us believe we are the worst hospital in the world...which I know is not true. They are so confusing too. One minute they are telling us that we are in the top 15 percentile of all hospitals in the nation and the next minute we are in the lowest 1 percentile. How is that possible? I've given up trying to figure out their strategies to motivate us & I will continue to do what I do....just be me & treat my patients as though they were a close family member. That's all I can do....really. I refuse to get caught up in that stress trap that keeps popping up.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I can't believe how quickly it goes by. The only thing I bought this weekend was a new dryer...cause mine stopped working on Saturday. So that was my present to myself...lovely. It's amazing though...how an appliance can somehow make you a little happier. Maybe it's the newness of it or just out with the old. I want to wash things just so I can see how fast this thing can dry them. Silly, I know. Don't try to understand me.

I ventured out today & saw Breaking Dawn. Sigh. I'm sorry....but I felt like it was so lame. I guess my imagination is better than what they are producing in the movies. I try to like Edward, I really do....but it is impossible. He is too wussy for me. Anyways...I have totally forgotten what was written in the 4th novel & plan to reread it sometime between now & next November....when the final Twilight movie is released. Because I totally forgot what happens next & want to know.

I watched in horror as my Florida Gators lost yet another game...this time to FSU....ugh. Can't get worse than that in football.

My back is about 90% better. I am not even on Advil anymore & it feels pretty darn good. The ears are better too. I finally was able to unblock the left side. Every now & then it clogs back up, but it doesn't stay that way. The new thing now though is if I put my head back or when I lay down...everything starts spinning. Personally I enjoy it. It is sort of like being on a rollercoaster or a ride that makes you dizzy. I'm not too concerned about it as it only lasts maybe 10 seconds. I figure it has something to do with my ears & that as soon as that problem resolves, hopefully the dizziness will too.

That's been my exciting weekend. I go back to work Tuesday night. Maybe I'll have a story or two to tell. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I have much to be thankful for...but these few things I am not...

*this never-ending cold, I have had it for 3 months now & just when I think nasal congestion is the worst thing ever......it drains from my nose into my middle ear. Now I am convinced that is the worst thing ever. My hearing is all muffled & I can feel the fluid moving. I have tried everything...antibiotics, all the allergy meds, Advil, Flonase, neti pot, etc. My latest try is Mucinex D along with the neti pot, Flonase & Afrin. Only this time with the Flonase & Afrin, I have to put my head down & tilt the bottles in hopes that they reach the Eustachian tubes. Because I am convinced that if I can open those up, all the fluid will come out. And it worked on my right ear, my left is being a bit stubborn. I'm not giving up hope yet.

*my very sore back, I was taking a shower this past Saturday morning & silly me, I leaned down a little to dry off my shins/calves & I instantly felt pain. I know this pain & in my head I was saying nooooooooo, noooooooo, nooooooo! This resulted in me having to call in sick for 2 days from work. I could barely move, even with muscle relaxers. I am feeling better today, but it is still sore. Guess the universe is trying to convince me that there are worse things than ear congestion.

*my tooth, or should I say what is left of my tooth. I was eating some of that laffy taffy candy stuff & lucky me...it pulled out part of my tooth. And my dental insurance doesn't kick in until Jan 1. And it is a holiday weekend. Sigh. Yet the universe trying to show me there are worse things than ear congestion & a sore back. Luckily, I have no pain associated with this tooth loss. At least not yet. I think I may have had a root canal with this tooth, but I honestly can't remember. I sure hope so...cause I don't want tooth pain. It is a long way until Monday.

Ok, universe...you can stop trying to show me there are worse things than what I am currently experiencing. I'm convinced.

Quick update on the guy....well, 2 weeks ago I thought everything was ending. Again, it is my own issues that led me to this conclusion. I see it so clearly. Luckily, I don't scare him off when I run in the other direction. He was needing reassurance & I thought he was wanting out. We tried to just be friends.....that lasted approx. one day. So moving forward, everything is good & back to normal. It's tough though....not living near one another. In a way it is good too, cause we kinda have to take things slower. It can be frustrating too though. Oh well, time to be thankful & for that I am. Just like I am amused he is so crazy about me. I mean it is neat to see how just me being me can make someone else happy. He wrote this to me the other day...

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an

encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle

the inner spirit.

Sweet, isn't it? Ok, enough of that.

Work is still a pain. They are constantly thinking up ways to torture us. At least it seems that way. We have a new manager...again. I have come to learn that nurse managers don't last very long. I have no desire to ever be one or to even be a charge nurse. I just want to take care of my patients & go home. That's all.

Yay for Tony Stewart........2011 Nascar Champion. Yessssssss!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope you have a safe & wonderful holiday.

I Survived!

I worked 4 night shifts in a row & have survived to tell you about it! I cannot remember the last time I worked that many hours in 4 days. Truthfully, it wasn't bad. I know I was spared from having any real disasters. Either that or I'm getting good at fixing a disaster before it happens. Who knows?

I had a woman that came in with a fever & 2 weeks later she lays in a bed without any ability to really move or speak. Somewhere along the line she had had a stroke. Next up on the menu was to insert a feeding tube. Sad.

I had a male that up until a month ago was a pretty heavy drinker. Then one day he just stopped & according to his wife...says he began acting strange. Hmmm, perhaps that is why she put up with him drinking...she didn't like his normal behavior. He was ok for me....thoroughly confused. Who is the President........his reply....Woodrow Wilson. Say what? I have never had anyone respond with that answer ever. I had been warned this patient could get combative & that he was one strong dude, so watch out. The first night I had him...piece of cake. Second night...he was a bit more alert which meant he then had a desire to try to stand up. Why do they do this? Our computers were down, so I grabbed my ipad & sat in a recliner next to his bed, reminding him to stay in bed. I was lucky enough to be able to do this for 4 hours. My other patients were sleeping...as good patients should be.

After reminding him to stay in bed for the 3940283043 time & him starting to get restless...I decide it is time for Ativan. Once he felt me flush his IV, the drama started. He latched onto my arm as though I was attempting to cut his other arm off. I hadn't even had the chance to hook up the Ativan, much less push it. I could have taken the easy route & called someone in to help...but nah, I knew I could handle this. So being the talented nurse I am, with one hand I hold his free hand that is trying to attack me & with my other hand, I attach the syringe & push away....all while distracting him with my congested voice (yes, I still have this damn cold 10 weeks later). It worked, within minutes he was relaxing. I was now free to roam around the cabin....just kiddingggggggg.

My third patient was a new admission & very easy to care for. The next night I got the same patients back plus one. Easy night. Monday night...not so much. I was told I was getting a direct admit at shift change. Ugh, hate direct admits any time of the shift, but especially at shift change. Obviously the doctor feels they are so sick they should bypass the ED & go right to the floor, but that means I know really nothing about them as they have had no workup done & the doctor's order reads "Call me when pt arrives to floor." Which means time calling him, him calling back, him placing orders, me having to write orders, me having to clarify with pharmacy the meds, me having to make sure the pt is comfortable, meds are corrects, etc. IT IS TIME CONSUMING & the beginning of the shift is the worst time as I have no extra time.

I didn't stress about it & I am very lucky my patient was not in any distress. She did have CHF & Pneumonia & a drunk daughter outside drinking in the parking lot (lovely).....but the patient was stable & wasn't demanding. My other patients were great too....well, the one basically in a coma & the other one knocked out with Ativan......plus one more that only wanted to read his bible. I realize I really lucked out.

We had a town hall meeting where our CEO basically told us we are the best staff ever & we are #1 against all other Adventist based hospitals as far as employee engagement. I don't know how he does it...because the entire nursing staff is highly stressed & short-staffed, but a few words from the CEO & suddenly we feel wonderful. Brainwashing I tell ya!

I'm off now until Monday night. I'm spending a couple of days with my man. Ahhhh....yep, I haven't run in the other direction yet. Friday I have a nursing skills fair thing. Saturday is a class reunion & Sunday will be my day to do nothingggggggggggg.

Hope everyone is doing well. Have a good week!

It's funny

It's funny how things aren't always as wonderful as you pictured they would be. Like having 10 days off. Don't get me wrong...I loveeeeeeeeeee not being at work. Especially this week as I heard AHCA is in the house (hospital) doing inspections. Not that they are there at night, but the day staff is usually frantically stressed out & I like not having to deal with that. I don't go back to work until Friday night........and Saturday night......and Sunday night....and Monday night. What have I gotten myself into? 4 shifts in a row at that place is like working 4 months straight. Sigh. Let's not think about that until Friday.

Where was I? Oh yeah....when I scheduled myself to have 10 days off.....I pictured myself....relaxing, spending time with friends & family, getting my house organized, spending a couple days at the beach, feeling rested & relaxed before I had to return to the crazy place I call work. My first day off was last Tuesday. I didn't really accomplish anything between Tuesday & Friday....except sleep. I slept so well....ahhhh. And I caught up on my tv shows. I did spend the weekend with my brother, niece & nephew. That was fun...relaxing...nice. By Sunday afternoon, I couldn't wait to have my house to myself again. My fav football player, Tim Tebow, was starting for the Denver Broncos. I couldn't watch. I'm really not that interested in pro football. I had the tv on & I could hear it, but I wasn't watching it. I knew they were losing. I checked out facebook & saw all the people dissing Tebow. That he's overhyped. That he has no talent as a quarterback.

It was at this point that I barked back at the haters & decided to watch the last part of the game. I knew they were losing 15-0 & virtually had no shot at winning....but something drew me in to watch. And guess what...not only did they tie it up...Tebow went on to win the game. A M A Z I N G ! ! ! Of course I immediately went back on facebook & posted "Uhhh, you were saying????..."

It isn't that he is a talented athlete. He works hard....harder than probably any other athlete out there. But I think what works for him is his ability to motivate. Heck, he had the Miami fans cheering AGAINST Miami....lol. I don't think his calling is football, but if that's how he can reach people right now...then that is his purpose for now. He's definitely a leader. Remember the name!

Ok, so that was all good & I finally got the one thing I had been craving for the last 2 weeks or so = Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts. Mmmmm...they are yummy. Almost as good as the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard at Dairy Queen.

I am getting together with my friends tomorrow night. And more than likely I'll go away somewhere on Wed & Thurs. So most of my to-do list is done. Well, except the organizing part. I'm good at procrastinating that.

But right now I sit here hating the dating life. Not that things are going bad. They are still really good....like better than I thought possible good, but not too good to be true good, if that makes sense. What I hate is all the old emotions it brings up from past relationships....disappointment, lack of trust, mind games, unsure of myself. He doesn't bring that out in me...he's been the opposite of all that. So I know it's my issues & I don't know if they are being brought to the surface because my "walls" are coming down or if I'm looking to keep them in place. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work to get my mind on something else...because I'm finding too much time for myself = too much time to think about things I don't need to be thinking about. And it doesn't help that PMS showed up on Friday & seems to still be here. Sigh. Breathe Jen Breathe. I'll be ok. Venting is over.

Highlight of last week........seeing Sugarland in concert!!!!!!! They are so awesome. Highlight after seeing Sugarland in concert.....finding out Luke Bryan is coming to Orlando on Jan 22. Yay!!!!!!!!! He's opening for Jason Aldean....not really a fan of him, but I'll be going to see Luke. And I also found out Lady Antebellum will be in concert in May. Not sure if I'll go see them....it's in Jacksonville, so I'll need to have some extra money for a hotel. We'll see how much I work the next few months & decide from there.

Work was great last week. I had 3 really good patients, two nights in a row. However, other patients on the unit would not stop screaming. It felt like a psych ward or possibly the labor & delivery room. Nothing was wrong with them. They were just screamers. You get people like that sometimes. I seriously don't know how employees at nursing homes do it. Maybe they are hard of hearing? I have a nursing skills fair the beginning of Nov & I think we have a big meeting next week to review our employee satisfaction scores. So exciting...NOT. We have lost 2 more night nurses & what does our manager do...hire new grads. Which means they won't be ready to be on their own for 12 weeks. Great! Oh well, that should mean I can work more...which is what I need to do.....for my emotional needs & my bank account needs. :)

p.s. Operation Workout is on hold....I know, I know...it will do me good emotionally. I'm trying to get motivated. Where is Tim Tebow when I need him???

Nightmare Continues

Yep...same old stuff at work. We have Jcaho & Ahca doing inspections....well, they are due to randomly show up & inspect. So all the administration is on edge, because if we don't pass inspection...we don't get reimbursed by medicare. Such a crock. Needless to say, so much time is spent on paperwork now that I get very little time for actual patient care. Is this what healthcare is coming to? All paperwork to cover our butts & very little nurse-to-patient interaction. I'm trying to just roll with it & hoping that once the inspections are complete, life will return to normal. Time will tell.

I got back from my Caribbean cruise last Saturday. I'm a little depressed. I miss the life of luxury where all you think about is what to eat or drink. Nothing else. Sigh. Meanwhile, I'm already planning my next cruise. I believe it will be in December.

I still have my cold. Yep, this sucker isn't going away. It's been like 7 weeks now that it has dragged on. Right before the cruise, all the congestion from my throat area moved up into my sinuses. That has been a lot of fun, let me tell you. Nothing like not being able to breathe while you sleep & non-stop coughing! I have tried nearly everything to no avail. I got a prescription for Flonase today. Everyone keeps telling me it is great for stuffy noses. So far I don't notice any change, but they tell me it takes a few days. Meanwhile, my doctor wants me to drink whiskey. Seriously? Yep, seriously. I can't do it. The thought of it makes me nauseous.

It has been raining here pretty much non-stop for the last 48 hours. I'm tired of it. Someone turn it off. I work tomorrow night & am praying I don't have to drive in it.

I'm still working part-time. Two days is more than enough for me to be at work. Especially with this sickness that won't leave my side. I do need to get focused though. Like if I'm not going to work as much, I should at least be working out at home & getting my act together. All I seem to do is come home & sleep or watch tv. I'm yawning now...but making myself stay up so I can sleep during the day before work. Ahhh, the life of a nightshift nurse. Exciting, huh??? :)

I did have a fun date last weekend. We watched the Florida Gators lose miserably, but we still managed to have fun. I don't know what the future holds, but it is nice to have a connection with someone. Ahhh, jb. :)))

I work Sun & Mon...then off until the following Sunday. I vow to clean my house really good & start exercising....starting Tuesday...lol.

Hope everyone has a great week!!!!!!!

Shoot em up = bullets

**Work has been outrageously insane. I don't even know what happened. Two years ago I started at this hospital & it was paradise. Even a year ago it was still paradise. Now...it is hell. It's like the administration is coming out of the woodwork with new rules & regulations & 99.99999999% of it is absolutely ridiculous. Just when I think I have heard it all & say to myself...what more can they possibly add to our jobs? And then they add something even more ridiculous. I'm telling you, it won't be long before they have us cleaning the rooms & giving manicures....sigh.

**I guess I could be worse off. I could be like one of my patients this week. A drug addict. Late 20's...hooked for years. Doesn't appear like your typical druggie, but she's been to our ER alone over 100 times in the past couple of years. May as well multiply that by 3 as there are other hospitals nearby that she rotates ER visits. What I don't get is why the doctors review past visits & think...hmmmm...maybe she is faking her symptoms just to get Dilaudid. And hmmmm...maybe giving Dilaudid to someone that is pregnant isn't the smartest idea. Her latest antic was to crush up Ambien, mix it with water or something...and inject it into her bicep. Yep... intramuscular. Not really sure how you can get a high off that as I've never seen anyone do that before. I guess she's exhausted her veins as it is nearly impossible to even get an IV in her. Anyways...she has injected her arm multiple times & you know what happens. It gets an abscess & infected & she needs to be hospitalized for IV antibiotics & she begs for Dilaudid & gets her way. It is such a waste of time & money. Then she'll complain of a headache....a normal doctor would prescribe Tylenol. Her doctor....MRI of the brain, MRA of the neck & brain. Thousands of dollars in tests wasted.

**Another sad story...a perfectly rational person that is homeless & has nowhere to go & no money for food.......comes to our ER complaining of chest pain & tells the ER doctor he wants to jump in front of a bus. Before you go...awwwwww...mind you.....he was just looking for a place to stay for 3 days knowing full well the MD couldn't let him be discharged. So he was Baker Acted for being a threat to himself. While I have a lot of sympathy for people who have nowhere to go, I do not think a hospital is the place to be. I understand it, but again...numerous tests being done all because he wants a place to sleep & some free meals.

**I had a patient fall this week. I kick myself, but I shouldn't...because I knew this was going to happen. I must have gone to his room 100 times during my shift. I was telling him so often what would happen if he attempted to get up on his own & he'd brush me off. He was alert & oriented & used to getting up whenever he wanted at home. I can't keep him tied to the bed. All I could do is keep re-educating him the risks of getting up without anyone around for assistance. He assured me he would not get up. He was sitting in the recliner chair. I had just gone to his room..."you need anything?" NOPE. "You want to go back to bed?" NOPE. "Here's your call light, push it if you need anything...DO NOT GET UP." OK, NO PROBLEM." Within 120 seconds of me walking from his room to the nurse's station, I hear that dreaded noise of someone falling to the ground. I wanted to scream in frustration cause I knew who it was. Luckily he was fine, no injuries whatsoever. After that I told him he didn't have a choice...he was staying in bed where I could have a bed alarm on so I'd be alerted when he was attempting to get up. I do not like falls!

**One more shift to go (tonight) until my 2 week vacation begins. I CANNOT WAIT! Well, I will probably go into work early Weds morning to get the Nursing Skills fair done, but that doesn't really count as there is no patient care involved.

My cruise leaves on Saturday.......to the Caribbean....hopefully there will be no tropical storms or hurricanes floating around down there.

**Operation Workout begins when I get back from the cruise = Oct 1. No more excuses for me. I'm tired of being this size. You would think with the 930840248 miles I walk per night when at work, that I'd lose something, but nope. I have never sweated more at work than I do now. I don't know if it's hot flashes or just a workout for me...but something needs to be done. Exercise is key.

Have a great week everyone!

Almost All Better

Hey all...I'm almost all better. Whatever that virus was, it knocked me out for like 10 days. Every night I was having fevers and after a few days I had a terrible cough. I thought I was going to collapse my lungs. I ended up seeing my doctor & although he really didn't want to give me an antibiotic, he did because of the recurring fever. I also got some cough medicine....the good stuff. Much more effective than over the counter.

The antibiotics did knock out the fever. The cough, however, is still lingering & it's nearly a month later. My voice is 95% back to normal. There are still some days where I wake up really warm or like right now...feel warm...but I'm beginning to think those are more like hot flashes than some illness. I ended up missing 4 days of work. I've never called in that many times. I had too though...I can't go to work with a fever. I did end up getting a verbal warning.....because of their stupid can't call out more than once in a two month period............regardless of whether you truly are sick or in a car accident or having an organ transplant. It is a stupid rule.

Work has been hell. The patients are sooooooo complex & soooooooo ill. Top that off with us being extremely understaffed & unappreciated...well, needless to say, my unit is a mess right now. Even our manager is bailing on us to go to another floor. Nice. And the hospital also decided that all those foreign nurses they recruited & gave work visas to over the last couple years...well, they won't be sponsoring them any more...so back to their foreign countries they go. Which means we will be even more understaffed. I want to scream.

It has really forced me to reconsider going back to my old hospital. Sure the raises suck & there are no bonuses, but at least we were properly staffed & the patients weren't so complex.....and they have patient care techs. I'll make a decision after my cruise.

Yesssss...that's right...it's nearly cruise time. I work tonight, Friday night & Sunday night...then I have 2 weeks of vacation. My cruise leaves on Sat Sept 24 & I will be gone for a week. I need an escape.

Back to the patients....there was one that really stood out the other night. He wasn't my patient, but it is the first time I really felt fearful of getting attacked. He was in for syncope & collapse....but had a history of schizophrenia & it was in full effect. It was downright scary. He yelled at us (the nurses) for 5 hours straight. Yelled! Our charge nurse was a whole lot of help.....she told us to stay away from him. Keep an eye on him...but stay away, we don't get paid enough to risk being attacked. Gee, thanks. Do you think we could get security or some male brought to the floor just in case this patient goes off the deep end? Nope.

I asked the nurse if she had any type of anti-anxiety drugs or anti-psychotic drugs she could give him. She told me he refused his meds. Ummm, great, but he's an agitated patient that is out of his mind right now....he doesn't get a choice in the matter. She managed to give him some Ativan IV & within 2 minutes, he was sleeping like a baby. Thank goodness, otherwise I would have been the one needing the medicine. All of his yelling & bullying towards us made me want to bang my head against the wall. I'm not even being funny. And it truly scares me that he lives at home alone & is probably like this quite often. So much for thinking I'd never go into psych nursing. They will come to you. I did not like it at all.

At my other hospital, when we had patients get out of control...we'd call a code grey (asking for extra manpower) & a bunch of men would show up & usually that would be enough to intimidate whoever was out of control & put them back into reality. If not, then they would be physically moved to a bed & restrained & getting anti-anxiety meds. Never would they have allowed the nurses to have to put up with such verbal abuse with the risk of physical violence. Never. It's discouraging to say the least...the way my current hospital handles it.

Hope everyone is having a great week!!!