You know you're a nurse when...

The front of your scrubs read: 'Nurses...here to save your a$$, not
kiss it!'

You occasionally park in the space with the 'Physicians Only' sign,
and knock it over.

You believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill
them.

You always follow the rules, but you're wise enough to forget them
sometimes.

You can't cure stupid.

You have seen more moons than the Hubbell telescope.

You own at least three pens with the names of prescription
medications on them.

You never get into an argument with an idiot, because they only bring
you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

You hope there's a special place in Hell for the inventor of the
call light.

You believe that saying, 'It can't get any worse' causes it to get
worse just to show you it can.

You wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

You've ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent gift
for Christmas.

You've ever spent more money on a stethoscope than on a car payment.

You believe any job where you can drive to work in pajamas is a cool
job.

The ER is a mixture of can do, can't do, and why the hell not!

You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

You've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of
birth control.

You've ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve
earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

 

You are in line at the grocery store and you look at the guys veins in front of you and think to yourself "Man, he would be an easy stick!"

 

You think absolutely nothing of describing your patient's Stage IV pressure ulcer at the dinner table......and then genuinely wonder why everybody seems to have lost their appetite.