Nursing Humor

Actual writings witnessed on hospital charts:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 years old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

On another note - someone asked me what nurses like to receive when the family is grateful for their care.  You can never go wrong with food...the sweeter the better, but most nurses will eat anything found in the break room...lol.  Honestly though,  for myself personally, I think a hand-written letter or card says it all &/or a verbal compliment said in passing.  It's always nice to be appreciated - no matter what type of job you have, isn't it? 

ACLS was ok yesterday.  I'm so glad I took the prep class, otherwise I would be lost.  After 8 hours of class, we had to take a test.  We were allowed to miss 5 questions max & of course I missed 5 questions...whew.  I did get all of the EKG strips correct though.  Gina & I had to do a sample mock code yesterday.  We had been told to know these algorhythms: V-fib, pulseless V-tach & PEA.  We were ready, we knew our stuff....no problem.  We get up in front of our group & the scenario was none of the above.  It was a patient returning from surgery who had a pulse & was awake, but lethargic...what do you do?  Huh????  Wait for him to go into v-fib, pulseless v-tach or PEA - then we'd jump into action...lol.  Hopefully today we will get one of the scenarios that they told us to know.  I just want this all over with.  Wish me luck!